The trip to the top of the world

"A trip of a lifetime", aptly captures this trip to the top of the world. Me and my wife, armed with little knowledge (courtesy Google) and a lot of spirit, undertook this journey, and came out shaken AND stirred. We would not have missed it for anything and, though not perfect, hold nothing against the twelve days of adventure that turned up on our door unannounced.

Going to Leh has always been a hot topic after a few drinks and no one I have met at innumerable parties has ever refuted the idea. Everyone wanted to join in and by the last drink of the night, ready to write out the check for the estimated damages. Who would have thought, that in the end, just me and my wife would make the trip. The only regret I have is not having done this sooner, or maybe a year later. The timing was not perfect, but for a trip like this, it would be true to say that it never will be perfect.

I wanted to do an adventure trip, and see the India I remembered seeing in the past. I wanted to show this to my wife, who, being born abroad, had never seen much of this country. So, we decided to do it the snail's way, and by that I mean by train, and road, instead of flying everywhere. This was by far the best decision on this trip, especially when we met the Delhi gang in Leh.

Leg 1: Bangalore to Delhi

Mostly an uneventful train journey from Bangalore City to Hazrat Nizamuddin, in second AC with soup and food and ice cream. I was excited about the journey, brimming with nostalgia from the innumerable train journeys I had been part of when Dad was in the Army. The landscape outside the window changed slowly but surely from the greenery of south India, to the aridness of Andhra, to the vast open lands of MP, and finally the thorny bushes around Delhi.

We reached early morning at the station, and were presented with the issue of finding a clean bathroom. Hazrat Nizamuddin is a dirty little station, crowded with people and a small Cumsum restaurant. My wife would have never stepped into a place like this but for me, and I am sorry for it, but what else could I do. We managed to eat something at the restaurant and after contemplating the next step for about an hour, we got out of the station at 8 am. We had had enough of train stations for some time.

Thankfully, the policeman helped us get a pre-paid auto, and we reached Delhi Haat without getting ripped off. Things were starting to look better with the almost flawless roads of New Delhi. We found a clean public toilet near Delhi Haat and managed to freshen up. Unfortunately, the Haat was to open only at 10:30, and we had a lot of time till then. We decided to move on, and accidentally discovered the INA station of the Delhi Metro. What a lucky break it turned out to be.

We thought we might see Kutub Minar and got down at the station with the same name. We took a bus and were about to enter the Kutub Minar complex, when we saw the purple "HO-HO" bus. The HO-HO turned out to be an abbreviation of Hop in-Hop out, which was a circular bus service around Delhi. At 300 bucks, the ticket was steep, but the pleasure of seeing Delhi sitting in an AC bus, was worth every paisa. The heat outside was searing, so we decided to ride the bus and visited a few places.

We visited the house of former Indian Prime Minister, Indira Gandhi, and then saw her father's house (Teen Murti Bhavan) from the gate. The heat was driving us mad and we chose to be inside the bus rather than outside. Then we visited the National Museum, which turned out to be a nice place with artifacts from all across the country. I felt proud in some measure to belong to this land. For the rest of the journey, we chose to stay within the confines of the air conditioned environs. We did see the India Gate, Rashtrapati Bhavan, among other sites before we got down at the Haat once again.

By now, we were dangerously close to missing out connecting bus to Manali, so we chucked the idea of visiting the Haat and made a bee-line for the metro and got down at Vishwavidhyalaya station and took an auto to Majnu ka tila. The bus came an hour earlier than expected and surprisingly, left an hour earlier than mentioned on the ticket. Anyway, we were glad to be on the bus.

Leg 2: Delhi to Manali

The bus journey from Delhi to Manali was mostly uneventful, except for the heated discussion between me and my wife. The discussion lasted quite some time, before sleep took over and our heads were bobbing to the rhythm of a long road trip. We stopped for dinner and got the first taste of being ripped off. Instead of stopping at a good hotel, the bus driver stopped in a non-descript dabha in the middle of nowhere. We were hungry, after all it was almost 10 in the night, and we had missed our lunch due to the early departure of the bus from Delhi.

Anyway, we were hungry, and without looking for the menu (I doubt they even had one), we ordered for four rotis and one butter chicken. I have to agree that the food was tasty, but it might simply have been a factor of our growling stomachs. My wife complained that the loo was the absolute worst, and I realized that this was a planned rip off of passengers. The meal cost me an unbelievable 680 bucks, and I paid up because everyone was paying up. 600 bucks for the chicken officially makes it the costliest chicken I have eaten in my life.

After the setback of the costliest dinner I wish I had never had, the bus drove into the night as if nothing was amiss. Well, the next morning almost washed my regrets. My sleepy eyes were greeted with the crystal clear waters of Beas and the winding roads in the belly of the mountains. The snow capped mountains at the distance reflecting the bright rays of the rising sun got me excited. We were finally getting close to the mountains.

We got down at the bus stand and walked to the hotel. The stupid telescopic handle of the suitcase had stopped working and this led to some inconvenience. Nonetheless, we reached the hotel, and were pleasantly surprised to find a cozy hotel snuggled amidst the concrete jungle of hotels calling out to the steady stream tourists. We were a little early than the check in time and were offered breakfast by the warm staff while we waited.

Once in the room, we managed to have a proper bath in three days. After the refreshing bath we left the room and enquired at the reception about hiring a bike. The manager gave us a contact, where we reached and negotiated for a Pulsar 150, at 500 bucks for 8 hours. We then went to meet Mohinder of Planet Himalaya to arrange for the transport for the next leg to Keylong. The market was getting crowded with all the tourists and the mid-day approaching. We managed to find a cobbler and thankfully got my wife's shoes fixed which I would have regretted for a long time otherwise.

The bike ride to the Solang valley was pleasant and eased us into the adventurous spirit of riding in the mountains. There was a long traffic jam for a few kilometers before the turn to Solang, but luckily, we got through pretty fast as we were on two wheels. Someone said that we were lucky, and I knew he was right. We even saw a set of parents carrying the pram with their little one, in order to get past the stranded traffic. Here we got our first taste of mountain driving and how slim the margins to maintain all four wheels on the ground really are.

Solang valley was a crowded place with options for Para-sailing, driving a mountain bike, rolling down in an air filled ball. We instead chose to take the cable car and headed to the top of the valley. A small cafe there was serving hot tea and small eats. The aloo paratha was definitely the show stealer. I sat at a table kept a little way off the cafe, and ate my parathas, letting the 360 degree view of snowy peaks at misty distances seep in. I have not felt that kind of calm for a long time and I could have stayed there for hours, but the sun was sinking and we had to get back before the roads became dark.

On the way back, we went to the Hadimba temple. I remembered coming here almost ten years ago, and how little the feel of the place had changed. Thankfully it was still bright and we managed to get a few photographs wearing traditional Himachali dresses and also managed a couple with my wife sitting on a Yak. The Ankora rabbit that we had to pay ten bucks to hold was so soft and unlike a normal rabbit, didn't stink at all. By the time we left the temple, darkness had crept over the mountain ridges and had engulfed the valley.

On the way back to the hotel, we had to cross the now heavily crowded Mall road. I never realized that the proximity to cities like Chandigarh, Delhi, etc, must be putting Manali on everyone’s list of quick vacation spots. Even the hotel manager complained that the town was too crowded with people from Delhi driving big SUVs that caused unending traffic jams in a town with one road. I witnessed these jams and I have to say, I am so glad I was not staying in Manali for the vacation.

We managed to repack our bags and catch the quick dinner at the hotel, before dropping into the bed for a couple of hours of fitful sleep. At around midnight, someone knocked at the door of the hotel and since our room was the closest to the door, and I was unable to sleep, I investigated to find a thinly bearded gentleman asking for the couple who wanted to be dropped to Keylong. I walked out and said that I was the one who had asked for the drop, and he informed me that the driver they had asked to drop us had slept off and switched off his phone.

"What do I do now?", I asked wondering how professionalism is an unknown word in this corner of the world.

"Don't worry, sir", said the man, "You come to the bus stop and call me. I will put you in a different vehicle."

Not knowing if I can trust him or not, I called Mohinder to verify and it turned out to be all right. A half hour later, we were at the bus stop, seated in a brand new Tata Sumo, waiting for four gullible passengers to ride the side seats in the dickey. At around three in the morning, we finally bade good bye to the bus stand at Manali and started towards Keylong, our next halt.

Leg 3: Manali to Keylong

Since we started pretty early in the morning, we were able to cross Rohtang pass, without much of a traffic jam. We were over the most visited pass by around nine in the morning. The snow at Rohtang had turned black with mud, with all the tourist traffic. Rohtang turns out to be the furthest that most tourists travel to. Very few travel beyond till Leh, and that made our trip even more special. We were now part of an elite group of people who had crossed Rohtang and gunned for Leh.

Unfortunately, due to the impatience of the people in the cab, most of whom must have done this stretch a thousand times, we did not stop at Rohtang. We reached Keylong, passing many more breath taking views, and a quick lunch break at Khoksar, at noon. The Himachal Pradesh tourism hotel, Chander Bhaga that we had booked rooms in, turned out better than expected. Of course, the rooms were plain and simple, just like any other government guest house would be, but the people manning the reception and the restaurant, were very warm and forth coming.

We slept for a while and then wandered out as the sun was setting. The hotel staff was kind enough to give us two glasses of piping hot (and that was a good thing) green tea, and a plate full of pakodas. I can safely say that sitting in the chilly breeze, with the evening sun sharing its last rays of warmth with us as we sat on the porch sipping on the tea and crunched on the pakodas, was the highlight of the trip till then. Of course, we saw more as the journey progressed, but after Keylong, with the rising altitude, the mind became fuzzy due to the lack of oxygen. So it would be accurate to say that the last crystal clear first hand memory of the trip was at Chander Bhaga.

After finishing with the snacks we took a long and circuitous walk to the Keylong village below. We even crossed a small stream formed at the bend of the road, barefoot, and believe me, it was freezing cold, and equally fun to have done that. Once in the village, we walked around lazily till we found a reasonable looking hotel and settled for hot soup and salad. Behind us were a couple of guys taking in their daily quota of beer, and talking loudly on their phones. Turns out, these guys were from the Airtel support center and were addressing customer issues, sitting in a pub.

We left the restaurant as the sun was dipping behind the mountain ridges and made a quick beeline to the hotel. We even managed to walk across a field of flowers to the bus stop and then took a shortcut as the darkness filled the valley. The heart was beating fast, being in an alien place, with limited mobile connectivity, but the spirit of adventure was taking hold in both of us and we were surely not backing away from some adrenalin filled fun. Still, as most real life stories, the adventure was merely in the head and we reached the safety of the hotel gates shortly. We sat outside for some time watching the dark silhouettes of the mountain ranges all around us peppered with artificial lights of far away farms.

We had an early dinner and slept early since the connecting transport from Keylong to Leh was to pick us up at 6 in the morning. We struggled to get up the next morning as the cold outside the quilt was prohibitive. Finally, with some coaxing and sheer will power, we managed to get ready and reached the reception. The tempo traveler turned up an hour late and we took our seats. It turned out to be a good decision to request seats in a tempo traveler, because the stretch from Keylong to Leh was 14 hours long and if we had done it in a Suma stuffed with 11+driver, we would surely have had a more uncomfortable ride. The temp traveler had individual seats and this at least gave us enough room to keep readjusting our bodies to keep the fatigue at bay, at least as much as possible.

Leg 4: Keylong to Leh

Leaving Keylong was a sad affair for me at least. It is the kind of place I always wanted to settle down in. I am not sure if I would ever be able to gather the courage to go to such a remote place, but the thought is romantic. A green valley surrounded by snow capped mountains, and a simple life with the one you love by your side. What else could one ask for? In retrospect, it turns out that leaving Keylong was the start of the true adventure called Leh, the reason for the vacation.

First stop was at Darcha for breakfast. A few more small mountains and lots of dusty half made roads later, we reached Baralach La, a pass higher than Rohtang and filled with pristine snow. A frozen lake surrounded by endless valleys covered in snow was a sight to behold. We got down from the traveler and played with the snow. This was the first time that my wife has ever touched snow, and I was proud to have enabled that. Later, we took a few pictures with the snow filled landscapes in the background.

"Don't play in the snow too long. Your hands will get spoilt", warned the driver as we were going berserk like a couple of kids in a sand box.

The next stop was Sarchu for some paperwork. We did not get out of the vehicle but were impressed with the flat plains covered in greenery all around us. There were many tents scattered across the plains, and these served as the second night halts for bikers on the way to Leh (Keylong / Jispa being the first). I couldn't help wonder how it would feel to sleep at over 4000 meter above sea level in a tent. In retrospect, I think it was a good idea that I didn't try it.

By the time we had crossed Baralach La, the mind had started getting a little fuzzy. I didn't realize it at that time, but it was the high altitude air and the lack of oxygen that had started its work on the brain. I would continue to be fuzzy for the rest of the trip, though I am not sure how my wife managed. The next time I would be in a straight frame of mind, I would already be in Bangalore trying to question the trip in the whole.

The next beautiful place we crossed was the Nakee La pass. This pass is completely devoid of snow or greenery. Simply rocks lying around that passing people have stacked one over the other to form rudimentary forms of stupas. The colorful flags strung to the central post added a sense of life and mystery to this place. Who stacked these stones? Why are the flags here? The landscape on this pass is almost barren enough to resemble the NASA photographs of Mars. Thank God for the stacked stones that look alive in a stoic land.

After a short drive from Nakee La (mind you even a short drive is a tough drive in these lands), we crossed the Lachunglang La pass. I don't even remember crossing it, until someone in the vehicle asked the driver if we had crossed it and he said yes. Was it the fuzziness of the mind or the pass was lost in the magnificence of the surrounding landscapes. By this time, the mountains around us were bigger than ever before and we were feeling like ants in an ever changing alien terrain. At some places, the mountains were rocky; at other places they were sandy. Some mountains had archways created by the eroding winds, while others had Minar like structures jutting out of their sides. One mountain I saw looked like someone placed layers of multicolored rocks and then toppled the whole thing. It almost looked like the capsized space craft from the planet of the apes.

At Pang, we broke for lunch. My wife was feeling the symptoms of high altitude sickness, with an inexplicable headache. While she slept in one of the temporary beds in the tent, I gorged on a plate of noodles. She later joined me with roti and eggs. The funny part about this journey is that we ate the most normal food, like Maggi, Momos, Thukpa, Stuffed roti, etc, and we never felt that we were missing anything. I guess it was the immense surroundings and the sensory overload of vast sceneries that made normal human worries seem trivial. We were seeing something very few people see. How could we fret about trivial things like variety of food? Just before we reached Pang, we saw a crew of people including a scantily clad model, shooting with the megaliths in the background. It was a reminder that these were some of the most beautiful and hard to reach places in the world.

From Pang, it was a long drive across the Moore plains at over 4700 meters above sea level, then up the side of the mountains to reach the second highest pass in the world, Tanglang La. I think this is where I fell sick. It was windy on the top and I was dressed in a sleeveless sweater without cotton in my ears. I am sure the cold winds at these places do things to the brain and the entire ENT cavity. Although I got through the pass without too much of a headache, and managing not to open the Diamox strip (thanks to my wife), I think this was the turning point in the trip for my health.

After Tanglang La, the roads turned downhill and the roads became marginally better. A few hours later we crossed Upshi and then on to the flat stretch to Leh. We finally managed to reach Leh by around nine in the night, and the tour operator, Delex, was good enough to pick us up from the bus stand and drop us to the hotel. He enquired about our journey so far and was surprised that we thought that the worst part of the journey, the road from Manali to Leh, was behind us.

"We don't want to scare tourists", he said matter of factly, "But Leh is not a place to be taken lightly."

Leg 5: Leh (Day 1)

Delex had told us that since we had reached late last night, we could sleep in late and then call the cab when we were ready to leave the hotel. We finally managed to get up by noon and then after the second shower through the trip, we left the hotel by two in the afternoon. The driver of our cab, Takesh, was a simple man, with a stammering problem. He was also to be our guide for the next three days. At the end of the three days, we really liked him and his simple jovial nature. God bless him.

The first place we visited after the late breakfast was the Shey Palace, the old and abandoned palace of the royal family of Leh. It did have a functional temple complete with an impressive statue of the Buddha, but the rest of the palace was merely a shell of what it must have been in the days of its glory. These kinds of places give me a mixed feeling. I am happy at seeing the eroded glamour of bygone times still struggling against the forces to share glimpses of the past, and at the same time I am sad at the loss of memories and lives that must have lived there. Ruins are the best teachers that life must go on (Ross Island in Andaman is another that gives me goose bumps).

After the old palace, we went to Thiksey monastery, which is a pretty impressive monastery. The best thing about these monasteries is their colorful facade and peaceful interiors. We walked through the painted rooms; saw the adorned statues, the cloistered courtyards, and finally the depiction of peace on the statue of Buddha. I know I could look that peaceful if I tried, but I just hope I can feel that peace, some day, inside me. We then caught lunch at the small hotel at the entrance of the Thiksey monastery and my wife topped off the food with a delicious looking chocolate pancake (Dosa with liquid chocolate poured over it).

With a full stomach, we crossed the Leh valley and headed for the opposite mountains and reached the new palace of the royal family. The driver told us that the present king lives in part of the palace that is not allowed to the public. The palace was filled with small rooms, a few of which we were allowed to enter. Each of these rooms displayed some artifacts from the royal but humble past of the Ladakhi people. The head dress of the queen, the thigh bone flute, the skull cup, the kitchen counter, and many other glimpses into the past made the palace a far more living place than the Shey palace. A thought kept returning to me that though these were the kings and queens of this land, their palace was not opulent or overflowing with luxury. This definitely was a place of hardship, where even the king and queen had to suffer their share.

Finally, we reached Shanti Stupa, with just about enough light remaining for a few quick snaps. The Shanti Stupa is impressive in its simplicity and its contrasting smoothness against the rugged surroundings. The Stupa was crowded with enough people and vehicles, but it was peaceful nonetheless. The monastery in the compound depicted the story of the Buddha in a wall hanging that took us almost fifteen minutes to read. It is interesting to know what drove these men to have faith in the face of such natural hardships.

Leg 6: Leh (Day 2)

The next day, we had to get up early, at five in the morning and leave the hotel by six. We ate our breakfast at the on an unearthly hour and left with the packed lunch under our arms. The driver then drove us on an exciting but unending road towards Nubra valley. As we stopped at Khardung La pass, I got down for a hot cup of green tea. The winds were very cold and blowing with a vengeance. I was ill dressed and could not stand it anymore. I started coughing badly and then gave up and retired inside the car.

By the time we reached the Mystic Meadows campsite, where we were to halt for the night, I had a fever and was unable to go on. I crashed into the bed and slept for a short while. The campsite was a small enclosure with cabbages (the guy at the camp said we were too early for the flowers that came out in July) flowering in the center and a row of white tents all around. The tents themselves were very comfortable with two beds each and attached toilets. This is the first time I have seen tents with attached toilets, and I am impressed.

After an hour, we left the campsite again, this time headed for some smalltime sightseeing. We saw the hot water springs at Panamik which was not quite worth the effort. I have seen hot water springs in Manali and Manikaran before and did not care for visiting Panamik which, like all places in Leh, was a long hard drive away. After the hot water springs, we headed to the Samstanling monastery. By this time, I couldn't see the point of visiting different monasteries, and coupled with my health, I merely went through the motions. We returned pretty early to the camp and I hit the bed and slept to recoup.

A little later I heard some local drums beating at a distance and would have loved to see the villagers dancing around the fire or whatever they were doing, but I just couldn't get out of bed. My wife was worried for my health and didn't disturb me either. I finally got up for dinner and managed to sit through the simple yet tasty food, especially considering the distance all the food must have had to travel in order to end up in my stomach. The night was troubled sleep, but I managed, somehow.

Leg 7: Leh (Day 3)

We left the camp the next day after breakfast at around seven, and headed for the famed sand dunes of Nubra valley. I could not imagine what sand dunes were doing in a place like this. I had seen all kinds of geographical features till then, but sand dunes still seemed farfetched. I assumed that it was an exaggeration to reel in tourists. The reality, when we reached the dunes, was far from it. There it was, miles of sand dunes, complete with pretty double humped camels, surrounded by greenery and even a shallow stream of clear water. This was too confusing for my senses where desserts and water and mountains just don't mix that well.

My wife went for fifteen minute ride on one of the camels and loved it. I am glad, but I did not join her as the fever was still troubling me. The sun was just as hot as it should have been in a desert, and we couldn't stay there was very long. We left the dunes behind and headed for the old Diskit monastery. This monastery is very old and I could feel the bygone ages as I stood on the aged wooden flooring and was mesmerized by the statues with covered faces. One of the monks spoke to us and was happy to know that we had visited the Namdroling monastery in Coorg. It is nice to talk to people who look at life in such simple measures.

Very close to the Diskit monastery is the 35 meter high Maitreya Buddha statue that I was trying to photograph from the vehicle. I did not know that we were going to visit this place as it was given on the itinerary. The driver was good enough to take us there. After all, who will come all the way here to see the statue again? The statue stands in the midst of a barren and stark landscape, proud with bright colors. I cannot imagine what kind of people go through unimaginable hardships to create such symbols of hope. This land definitely needs the hope, but all I would like to know is the source of hope for the people who built it. I need that source to send me some hope too.

After filling our senses with unbelievable sights, both natural and manmade, we took the long road back to Leh and reached by around six. We took a short nap and then went to the Leh market for some souvenir shopping. Though there were some interesting things to buy, we were confounded at the prices. Also, most of the things would be available in Delhi and Bangalore. So, after a long search, we settled at buying some very basic things at reasonable prices, just so that we would remember this trip. I, though, am unlikely to forget anything on this trip, souvenir or not.

Leg 8: Leh (Day 4)

The next day was an early rise, quick breakfast and get out of the hotel fast routine again. This time we were headed through the Chang La pass to see the Pangong Lake. This lake has risen to meteoric fame following the Aamir Khan movie, "3 idiots". The Chang La pass was a breeze compared to the Khardung La and Tanglang La pass, but I guess we deserved a break. This was the first place I saw frozen toilets and couldn't help photograph them. A nice addition to the "physically demanding trip" catalog.

Pangong Lake was amazing. Crowded, but amazing and peaceful nonetheless. You could stand at the edge of the lake and look at the clear, multi-colored non-stop waters and forget the people around you. Actually, you could as well feel like the only human on the planet. The place has that kind of effect. It does not matter who is with you or who is not. All that matter is that you are there. Pangong Lake was like the cool band aid to settle the rashes that Leh had caused.

On the way back, for the first time through the trip, I slept in the car. I had seen what I had set out to see and I was happy with the results. I was tired and just wanted to get back home, to the familiar confines of my one bedroom house back in Bangalore. With the small terrace supplying all the nature I needed. The trip was over in my mind.

Leg 9: Leh to Delhi

Though the adventure was over in my mind, the guy on top had other plans. We reached the airport just late and managed to miss the flight. I was almost in tears. I was not feeling too well and was panicking. Thanks to my wife for taking the lead and settling the boat. I was dreaming of having to stay in Leh for ever, maybe take up farming or become a tour guide. I still get the jitters when I think of those four hours spent at the Leh airport that day.

The alternative options started floating around. We could get seats the next day, but that would mean missing the connecting train from Delhi and also booking a room for the night. We could go by road, due to the cost, via Kargil, Srinagar and Jammu. That one was shot down without much thought. It would have meant gambling with the chance of getting train tickets at short notice or take costly flight from Delhi. My brain was not working, but my wife was being the pillar of strength without whom I might just have started walking south.

Due to persistence and a high limit on the credit card, we finally managed to get two seats on the last flight out of Leh that day. I cannot explain how relieved I felt the moment I snapped the seat belt in place. I was not going to remove it till I reached Delhi, not even if the captain changed his mind and wanted me out. I am never going to miss another flight, be it by a month or a day or a minute. That was the worst jack in the box moment I have had in a long time.

Leg 10: Delhi to Bangalore

We landed at Delhi a little later than originally intended, but with enough time to catch the connecting train. The words, "Thank God" was bouncing around the insides of my skull like the windows screensaver. The Delhi airport was civilization, after almost a week in comparative wilderness. We took the metro to Rajiv Chowk (CP) and trashed the idea of shopping at Palika Bazaar due to the searing heat. We managed to cool down at the KFC and refuel with some badly made burgers.

By now, we were tired. The suitcase with the faulty handle was becoming too much to handle. I was coughing like a mad man and sweating like one too. My wife was holding me together, but was fed up of this trip too. Though not the 'romantic trip', this trip taught me and my wife more about us and each other than any other 'romantic trip' ever did. This trip turned out to be the 'adventure trip' that I had always complained about not having made.

The journey from Hazrat Nizamuddin to Bangalore was thankfully uneventful and a good phasing back into normal life. By the time I reached home in Bangalore, I couldn't care less for anything else. I just wanted to reach familiar territory. I just wanted to stop thinking. I just wanted to relax. It would not be wrong if I continue the story here, because, a trip to Leh does not end when you leave the place. It stays with you for a couple of weeks more, as you feel your mind regain its snappiness slowly. The memories seem to return in phases, the photographs you took on the trip seem vaguely familiar.

Two weeks later, I sat back to see the pictures taken on the trip. They were familiar now and I began remembering the feelings that I could not register earlier. The trip was totally worth every nose bleed, every body ache, every sore throat, and every extra penny I spent. This trip was special for me, but remember, no words or photographs can prepare you for this trip. No photograph can prepare you for what you would feel when you stand in the middle of mountains that almost touch the heavens. No words can explain the feeling at the only place on earth where you could have sunstroke and frostbite, all at the same time.

Each of us has to make this trip and bring back what the Gods wanted us to have, an appreciation of being alive.

I call this trip, "A trip of my lifetime".

Go-a, Going-a, Gone-a


A few friends and I, recently finished a memorable trip to Goa (my first visit to Goa by the way). It started off with a lot of planning and the associated confusion when no plan seems to work out. But it ended with a lot of unplanned memories, some good, some not, but all that I am not going to shake off, and some I won't even be able to, in a hurry.

Day 1:
We left Bangalore late at night. The recently acquired Ford Figo Diesel was full tank at just Rs. 1499.97. That was a brick on the chest of petrol car owners like myself. Anyway, the trip had started off well and after jostling with some city traffic we reached the NICE road. Pretty surprised when the guy in the toll booth didn't return any change for a Rs. 100 note. Pay taxes for pot holed roads and hefty tolls for roads without them. And still, adhere to an 80KM/h speed limit. Someone in the government has a sense of humor.

Anyway, the next leg of the journey was uneventful, except the occasional stop for highway tea, which by the way, has deteriorated from my memories of yore. All was going smooth, till we hit a speed breaker, quite literally. I was driving and couldn't make out the unmarked hump in time, and flew over it. If it had been a Honda City, we would have lost the undercarriage for sure.

"Aaaarrrreeyyyy... I AM AWAKE", shouted the startled lean guy in the back seat, awakened rudely from his nap, "I am not sleeping."

And I looked in the rear view mirror at the second car of the convoy, hit the speed breaker just like me. Thank God, it was not my fault. It would happen to everyone. And before I could adjust to the road in front again, I hit the second one.

"Remember", said the wise co-driver, "They always come in pairs."

And then came the third, but I was ready this time. I skid the car to a grinding halt inches before the hump. The engine stalled and sputtered to a silent stop. I restarted the car and took the hump like a pro. Slow and steady, making sure the under carriage did not touch anything. Well done. That much for mid night action involving three humps. The rest of the way was a nervous eye peering and slowing down at all kinds of shadows across the road. But guess what, there were no more speed breakers after those blasted three.

"Who would put a speed breaker on a National Highway man?", I said tasting the tea signaling driver change. I was sipping with a prayer and thanking God that the car was still in one piece.

We started the third leg pretty excitedly and were doing great ground covering. We crossed Hubli in a hurry and I smiled. The driver from the second car called asking if we took the left turn at Hubli.

"You didn't?", said the wise man, waking up from his nap, in the back seat.

"No", I said, "I am going for the first time remember?"

"And", said the lean driver, "I have never been on this road."

We turned around and backtracked for a good 20 kilometers, and met up with the lagging party, puffing in the breezy night.

Day 2:
The second day started with fewer surprises as the light slowly crept into the sky. We crossed the western ghats and beheld the beautiful vista being lit by the sun over our shoulders. I caught the first glimpse of the ocean and opened the window to feel the salty breeze. It had been a long time since my last vacation and a longer still since the last time I was near the ocean.

Finally, after a long night of driving, we were inside Goa. We headed for Colva, where the wise one said, there was an awesome french place for breakfast. Unfortunately, either we were too early and the shop had not opened, or too late and it had shut shop. We couldn't find the famous place, but we ended up at the Colva beach and saw the Cafe Coffee Day and Subway.

"You want to go to Subway?", I asked.

"Who wants to go to Subway?", said the wise one.

"Not me", said the lean one, "I am just looking for a place to pee."

And the three of us nodded and entered the nearest shed of a hotel. The second car was trailing a way behind, owing to the photo op stops for the two wives. We waited for a while and then, when we couldn't hold any longer, we ordered the poached eggs on toast and tea. The eggs and toast were good enough for a hungry man. But the tea... The tea had hit a new low. Low tea, low sugar, low milk. Only thing high in the tea was the water. All seven glasses sat un-drunk.

Then we walked to the beach for a feel of the sand on the feet. And as the sun began to rise threateningly higher, we bundled up and headed for the hotel. The roads got narrower and the turns sharper, as the driver in the other car kept checking with the Google map print out. Finally we reached an unimpressive double storied building in yellow. I stood for a minute trying to understand how a tourist spot could have a village feel like this.

The hotel had small, bearable rooms with air conditioning. Just that the electricity was not available at the moment. Would it ever be, we all thought in silence. Some were wondering if we should leave just now and figure a better place. I looked around the place and couldn't believe that this was supposed to be a hotel. It was more like a house with an extra floor and six rooms to be let out. And as I looked around, the biggest question popped into my head, "Where is the beach?"

"It's right there", said the lean one pointing due west.

"But, I can't see anything", I said, "It's only houses and trees."

"Look", said the wise one pointing to the shimmering blue on the horizon, "That's the ocean."

I nodded without understanding how near or far from the ocean I was. The air was surely laden with salt, but it was quite unlike the idea of beach resort I had in mind. Where were the long coastlines with light brown sands? Where were the tourists and the cacophony that goes with it.

And I found out soon enough that Goa works a little differently. Behind a couple of hundred meters of congested roads and houses packed together, the view opened to the beach, filled with low shacks and innumerable sun beds. Lots of foreigners lay around in the hot sun, bathing for Vitamin K, I think.

We sat in a moderate shack, supposedly affiliated with the hotel, and providing free sun beds. The beer was chilled and good, but the service was slow and awful. I was beginning to question the whole idea of shacks that everyone could just not stop about earlier. I looked around at their faces and sensed the disappointment, and felt reassured that this was definitely not the best.

I settled into the reclining chair and ordered a plate of fish fingers and back came a plate of fish Pakodas. French fries were like potato wedges and the red colored dish someone had ordered, was so spicy that I had to gulp down warm beer just to keep breathing. Somehow, we managed to get over the noon sun in one piece and returned to the room for a nap.

"Where next?", I asked.

"Baga", said the lean one.

And Baga it was. The difference was startling and pleasant. Slightly more organized, but debatable. Lot more shops and much wider roads. At least bike and a car could cross without anyone having to reverse. The crowd was better too. More Indians, and Indian women with uncharacteristically short hot pants and skirts. My eyes were having a field day trying to soak up the skin reflected sun.

"Good", I thought, "We sleep in Calangute and stay awake in Baga."

"I need a breezer", said the lean one as if sensing my thoughts, and I simply nodded without moving my eyes.

"Brittos", declared the wise one. We followed and realized that the place was so famous, that there was not one seat available for us. We hung around a while and asked if we could reserve a seat. But the bearer informed us that there was no reservation after 8:30. Any just then, the minute hand of my watch mockingly crossed to 8:31.

So, with breezer in hand, we just walked on the beach. The second party had taken a longer nap and would join us in an hour. With the breezer bottle in one hand and a pair of slippers in the other, we walked like three buddies watching the dreamy reflection of starts in the water. Finally, we gave up on Brittos and settled into the shack next door, St. Anthony's Shack.

Nothing saintly about the crowd there though, and we were soon in the groove. Snacks and drinks, and lots of arguments and laughter. I was loving the fine sand seeping between my toes, feeling comfortably cold to the skin.

Sigh.

The second group arrived and the photo shoot started. We had a brand new digital SLR, another digital, a Sony Cyber shot, an Apple iPhone and a Blackberry for cameras. And the flashes were flashing all around us. A couple of hawkers were selling glowing devil horns, in red, blue and green. Another hawker was showing off a Rs. 900 laser that left a trace for almost 5 kilometers. A glowing helicopter type of toy kept lighting the sky intermittently. But, we were all adults here, and we resisted falling for these cheap Chinese made gimmicks.

Then we fell. The printouts looked so convincing, that we knew that nothing could go wrong. While smoking the recently ordered Pan-Masala flavored hookah, three of us chose their pet designs and agreed to get inked. The lean one got a scorpion, a pretty lean scorpion, if I may add. The hunk got a dragon, with long spindly legs. And his wife went for the best design.

"That will cost you extra", declared the tattoo artist.

And an hour of stiffness later, all of them showed off their tattoos. The scorpion's tail hinted out from the sleeve menacingly. The dragons fire breathed across the hunk's chest. But his wife was panicking with the sexy siren's portrait in lines, having turned to the look of Mrs. Shrek.

"This is horrible", she declared, "You made the face too round."

"I will fix it madam", said the artist trying to fix the mistake.

Another half hour later, the hunk said, "Listen, just remove the nose.'

"And the nose", he added ten minutes later.

Some arguments later, the couple paid the artist and looked at each other.

"Well", said the woman, "There is only one thing left to do.'

Her hubby nodded and poured the bottle of water over her arm. She scrubbed and scrubbed, and managed to remove the darkest parts of the tattoo.

"Thank God", she said, "It was temporary."

"Imagine", I replied feeling pretty tipsy, "Getting a permanent tattoo on a beach while getting drunk. What a thought?"

Before we could realize, it was 2 a.m. and all the shacks around were closed, even Brittos. Thankfully, the owner of our shack knew people around and had kept the place open pretty late. I wasn't complaining as I finally hit the bed at three, with a broad smile.

Day 3:
But three hours later, the hangover was beating my head into a pulp and I HAD TO get up. You see, my wife was joining us from Poona, and I couldn't dare miss picking her up. There are mistakes you can live with, and then there are those you can't. So, I pumped myself up with fresh aqua, woke up the lean one who had volunteered to accompany me.

"You smell drunk", he said looking at my face.

"I am drunk", I replied holding the nearest door, "You drive."

Thirteen kilometers to Panji and a couple of confusing turns later, we spotted my better half. The initial look on her face made me think that I was late. But then I realized that she had just not recognized the new car. Her smile widened and she walked up excitedly. Public display of affection is a no-no in India, but at 7 a.m, when no one is watching, its another case.

With my wife in the back seat, we turned back towards Calangute. And miraculously, we stopped at the only open shop on the road and had the most decent tea in the last couple of days. And the costliest, if I might add, at Rs. 12 a pop. My wife told me about the comfortable multi-axle air-conditioned bus she managed to get at the last minute, but the uncomfortable journey owing to a co-passenger who just couldn't stop barfing.

"And the windows don't open in an AC", declared my wife.

She was not impressed with the hotel either, but after seeing the bathroom, that was quite clean, she agreed. Sleepy as hell, she groggily went around changing and crashed into bed. The plan was that she will sleep for a while, and I would be out with my friends. Around lunch time, I would come back to collect her and we would head for Baga again.

Somehow, the others took still longer to wake up. So, the three of us, the lean, the wise and the chatty, decided to head out on our own. We reached St. Anthony's shack at 8:30.

"WHAT!", said one of the servers who was relaxing, "You were here till 2 a.m. and you are back at 8:30 a.m. Do you not realize that we are humans too?"

"Err...", said the lean one.

"Sorry", I said.

"We will be leaving now", said the wise one.

We beat a hasty retreat into the beach and wondered where we could catch some breakfast without being shouted at. Then it struck us that Britto's had closed early the last night. And we stepped into the shack next door, only to find all the tables were neatly laid out, and all the chairs were empty.

"Are... Are you... Open?", I asked the bearer whose eye I managed to catch.

He nodded tiredly, and we took up the chairs nearest to the beach. The day had started off well. The lean one then realized that he had forgotten his phone at the hotel. So, he had to go back, just as his breakfast was about to be delivered. He was torn between the appetizing scrambled eggs and the costly apple. Steve Jobs won.

And he returned as the first round of breakfast was being cleared from my side. The wise one was well into his second course of poached eggs, and mine were on the way. But not to be withheld for too long, the lean one jumped into the race and polished off his last morsel a quarter of a second before me.

Then came the mug, filled almost to the brim.

"That's more a bucket, than a mug", I said.

"Yeah", said the lean one thumping the empty mug on the table and wiping the milk mustache with the back of his hand.

As the table was being cleared, the second group arrived, hunger gleaming in their eyes. It is an interesting conversation when half are too full and the others are completely empty in their tummies. But the camera's and the innovative photography of the sleepily awakening beach, kept everyone busy till the food arrived.

Once everyone was done with their breakfast, it was time for the wise one to lead the way to the trek he promised we wouldn't forget. But by the time the trek started, we were a couple of hours behind schedule.

"There is no such trek", announced the police man sitting lazily in the jeep parked in the shade.

"But I have been on the trek", said the wise on, taking offense.

And we all followed him over the bridge, across the river, through the shady road and ended up on the steep face of a mountain. The lens cover of one of the camera's fell down the slope, as if giving a warning of what would happen if any feet slipped. The owner of the camera wanted to go down and fetch the cover.

"Are you crazy?", I said shivering with adrenalin, as much as the thin path would allow, "You can buy another one man. Now WALK..."

The path became narrower, and muddier, and pebblier, and slipperier. We were all sweating in the harsh sun, and our hearts beating out of our chests. The hunk at long last declared that he was terrified of heights.

"Me to", I said excited at not being the only one anymore.

The path become so narrow and steep at times, that it was impossible to cross without sitting down and literally crawling on all fours. The sweat was pouring, the goggles were getting smudged with the perspiration, making a stop every few minutes mandatory. The group again got split into two. The three of us were faster and managed to climb the steep path, both uphill and down, quickly and reach the pebble beach. The second group, with the ladies, was traveling slower and much more cautiously, an attitude I had always appreciated and more so as I looked down the sheer cliff.

Almost an hour and a half after starting, with the sun directly above us, we stepped on to Anjuna beach, and were welcomed by the sight of a well toned foreigner, running in the sun and doing push ups. His six packs were as if sculpted and the legendary 'V' cut looked exaggerated the way he moved.

The lean one and I looked down at our own paunches, while the wise one said, "That's the kind of dedication and hard work it takes."

Having seen the peak of male body sculpting, I had become numb and turned into the nearest shack and ordered for a tender coconut. The lean one had three, while the wise one ordered for a beer. The sun was lighting up the calm waters on the beach like a jewel. We sat there for half an hour before the second gang caught up with us. A few more photos later, they finally reached the shack, drenched and heaving.

Well, it had been a long time since I was in Goa and I had not stepped into the ocean. I had not anticipated that I would be going in now, since my wife was still peacefully sleeping back at the hotel, and I would at any time be called for my spousal duties. I must have contemplated the various scenarios for an hour more, and then the thread snapped. I took off my shirt and rushed to the water in my Bermudas. Who cares if I had swimming trunks, neatly and dryly packed back at the hotel. I wasn't leaving dry today.

The second couple, the intellectual husband and his amazing cook of a wife had made the same error in judgment. And they sat sipping on cool drinks, bone dry inside the shack. And I was enjoying splashing like a three year old in a puddle. Only this puddle was the Arabian sea. After an hour of swimming along the beach, being as afraid of depths as of heights, I returned and ordered my small pegs of whiskey.

The wifey called and I was feeling very sad on how I am going to get her. The intellectual then came up with an idea that he and his wife would go back to the room, get dressed for the sea and also get my wife. I was so relieved that I was not going to have to travel with wet underpants, and the sand in unsaid places. That is one feeling that I just couldn't have born.

Anyway, the couple left, and an hour later, he calls to inform me that he has forgotten the keys to his room. Could I tell him the number on the key.

"But there is no number", I said, "It only reads 'FIGHTER', in italics."

Somehow, the hotel owner had a duplicate and after a lot of argument, he opened the door for the couple. Another hour later, my wife was on the way. And I was getting worried about the backlash of not having gone to pick her up. So, I called her and asked her what she would want to eat and ordered it. And as she stepped in, so did the prawn curry, rice and fried pomfret. She ate and I sighed in relief.

Everybody ate, and the table looked like the seventeen course feasts that medieval kings used to host. The ties, that doubled as bibs, and the burly facial bears, were maybe, the only missing elements from a period drama re-enactment. The liquor flowed with reasonable speed, and the sun dipped ever so slowly. I almost felt that peace was around as a person somewhere, and waiting to reveal himself if I knew where to look.

My wife had to be forced into the water, considering she had the fear of water, a little stronger than mine for heights though. But she relented, and dressed in her swim suite and her ear plugs, we got into the water.

"Don't get my hair wet", she said.

"Huh?", I said, "What's the point then?"

"You dare", she said.

She was right. I didn't dare. But her hair was dripping water by the time we got out. All owing to the helping friends I had, who understood my predicament and took the blame. We were happily in the water for a couple of hours and posed for the photographs in all kinds of loving poses. My wife and I are grateful to the lean guy, who also happens to be really tall, for clicking the photographs where we are almost sinking, from his birds eye viewpoint.

I got out and started hunting for the 'shower', everyone was mentioning to clean up. But no matter how I went and where I looked, I just could not find the shower. Finally, I saw the hunk walking with his towel in slow steps. I followed him as he placed his bare feet on the rounded pebbles and made his way to a small enclosure that looked like a bathroom. It turned out to be a well, full of water.

I helped him take a bath by holding the bucket above his head and simulating a shower and he returned the favor. And I thought that this is what everyone was calling the shower. And when I returned, I saw the fuming look on my wife's face. I had completely forgotten that she had asked me to finish quickly and give her the towel. She snarled at me and walked inside a door behind the tree. And there, I saw the shower, complete soap stand and towel hooks.

Since one of the cars was still in Baga, two guy left early in the second car and got both the cars back for the rest of the party. It was a lot of walking around and talking later that they arrived and whisked us away to the hotel for the women to deck up, and for me to catch on the sparse sleep I had been getting in the last few days. My head was still throbbing as I lay it on the pillow and had a fitful sleep. I even fought with my wife in my sleep, I believe, though I don't quite remember much I confess.

After a couple of un-refreshing hours of sleep, and a cold refreshing bath later, we headed out for another night of partying at the St. Anthony's shack. Only this night was Friday, and the beach looked different. There was a net barricade around the shack and I could not understand why. It turned out that on Friday's and Saturday's, the local crowd from Mumbai would overflow into the beach, and the open feeling of the previous night was not possible anymore.

"Population", said the wise one, "is the biggest problem of this country."

"I agree", said the lean one without taking his eyes off the decked babes walking around.

The firework display by the tall dark man, outside the enclosure was short, but mesmerizing. Followed by some idiot lighting up a crate of serial firecrackers right outside the enclosure. And we had sat down at the very first table near the compound and received a healthy dose of hot embers from the beautifully bursting crackers overhead. Another round of innovative and drunken photography ensued and the wife posed in her beautiful party number.

The hunk and his wife missed as they had been laid down with a case of sore throat and fever. The intellectual and his wife enjoyed the Calamari and prawns sizzler, while my wife sipped on the Peach-schnapps. I was as usual enjoying my whiskey and finger chips. And then I asked my wife for a dance and she agreed.

Somewhere during the dance, she asked, "Why are you so conscious?"

But I was not, so I replied, "I am not."

"Then why are you dancing so stiff", she asked.

And I danced stiffer to show her how relaxed I had been before she had criticized me. We stopped dancing pretty quickly from there. Another reason, though unfounded, could have been the increasingly cold night. The clothes that had been perfect till last night, had started to feel fairly skimpy. My wife especially, with her single piece party dress, was raring to get away from the party now. We had planned to be out a little early that day, say latest by midnight. But as nights of revelry go, the night ended again, sharp at 2 a.m.

I had fallen asleep sometime during the last quarter of the night, and had to wake up and gobble my dinner with the other standing around and shivering. I finished the dish in less than three minutes flat and stood up. The faces around me were looking at me with amazement, as if I had just beaten the host of 'Man versus Food'.

"Good night", I said to my friends as I got into my room.

"Good night", said the wise on standing at his room's door, "And a late morning."

I couldn't agree more and nodded as the door shut. I hit the bed, shut my eyes and started snoring, almost simultaneously.

The next day, we all got up late. And for the first time in three days, I slept somewhat decently. My wife slept on for quite a bit longer. I kept visiting the rooms of the others to judge how much time we had left. Somewhere around ten, everyone was hoping to get out for breakfast, and I was hoping my wife would at least get out of bed. The second group left after a long and futile wait.

The wise one and the lean one, tried to hold on for a while longer, but even their grumbling stomach's broke their will and they gave me an ultimatum. I asked them to go ahead and I would catch up with them, since they were not going too far. I could reach their intended location, the Calangute Residency, with a short walk across the beach. This gave my wife some more time, and she finally managed to get out of the room, after a lot of threats and cajoling.

The short walk on the beach, felt much longer than usual. The sun had again hit it's high position, but we trudged along with goggles, hats and umbrellas. The Calangute residency was a decent place with a great view to the beach. The other couples had finished their breakfast and were headed out to the beach, for some water sports. The wise one and the lean one were not interested, having done this many times over, so we left them to their snacks and chilled beer.

After quickly wrapping our breakfast, my wife and I also joined the other couples for the para sailing. It was an amazing experience, dangling above the dark waters of the sea, hanging from the colorful parachute. The wife was hanging in front of me in the dual harness, and we chattered excitedly. I hope the camera on the boat got a few good shots of our excited faces. Once we were down, the other two couples took their trips, and I took their pics. The hunk and his wife also requested and took a dip in the ocean mid way through their flight.

"Can I also do that?", I asked, "I would love to take a dip in the water."

"Sure", said the boatman, "But it will cost you 300 for the dip and another 400 for the second para sailing trip."

"Huh?", said the hunk returning to his seat, "The dip is charged?"

"Of course, sir", said the boatman, "In Goa, everything is charged, especially when you are in the middle of the ocean."

We returned to the beach and then took the next ride, the tire like tube, with me and my wife in it, dragged like rattling tins across the sea surface. Bobbing up and down at literally breakneck speeds, my wife was screaming and I was holding on for dear life. But when the ride returned to the shore, my hand slipped and I went overboard. I tried coming up for a gasp, but was stuck under the tube and had to be extricated by a trained hand and I spluttered for air. My wife on the other hand had such a tight grip, even after the ride had ended, that the boatman had to snap her out of her death grip saying, "Madam, you want to go for another ride or what?"

Next up was the jet ski ride. Though fast and fairly elating, it was nothing compared to the previous ride. Even my wife enjoyed it without having the headlights in her eyes look. She even posed for a couple of pictures for the camera once the ski was safely ashore. I enjoyed it, and also managed to hold the accelerator for a short while. Yippeee, I had successfully driven the first aquatic machine of my life, without capsizing.

Finally came the banana ride. My wife was scared, I could not understand what the big deal was. She backed out and I was okay with that, considering she had done so much, that I was already proud. She wanted to sit this one out, and I asked her to take some pictures. I got on the banana boat, and the other four got in and off we went. The boat ahead was pulling on the air filled banana faster and faster. I was at the head of the boat and was enjoying the water splattering on my face.

I was enjoying the ride and couldn't understand what the deal was with my wife not wanting to be on it, when the boat ahead turned sharply without slowing down, and literally wrenched the boat from under me. I held on for dear life, now spluttering inside and outside the water. Then my hands slipped and I was bobbing in the middle of the ocean. I took a deep breath and looked around to realize that the others were not there. I was about the panic, when the wave subsided and I saw the others in a group, a short distance away.

I swam up to them and they said, "Where did you go?"

"Nowhere", I said, "I just let go later than you."

"Huh?", said the intellectual, "You are supposed to let go, the moment the banana tips over."

"Yeah?", I said, "No one told me."

"I did", said the dark man who was the caretaker of the banana, "and I asked them to pass it on till you."

"Yes", said the intellectual's wife sheepishly, "He did, but before I could pass it on, the boat was upside down."

Anyway, the life jacket was a great thing, allowing me to swim in deep water for the very first time in my life without panicking. I think I will get one for my swimming pool too. It is just so much more relaxing to get into the water knowing that you can't not possibly drown. My wife wants it in red. She says that is will go perfectly with her swim suit.

After the water sports, it was time to laze in the water and get sun burnt. Of course, I did not realize it then, but my shoulders are burning like mad right now. Hind sight is the best sight, you say?

By this time, the stomach was ready for lunch. The group couldn't agree on one place to go, so we split up. I heard the other gang devoured some lobsters and calamari sizzlers, while we had to make do with American Chopsuey and Prawns biriyani. The game of pool and the shot of whiskey almost made up for missing the lobsters. But, I was running out of time, since my wife was leaving in a couple of hours back to Poona. Her vacation was ending a good 12 hours before mine.

She returned to the room and packed up the dry clothes, leaving the rest for me to pack up and take back to Bangalore. At the bus stand, she suddenly realized that she wanted Crocin, so the lean one hunted for it, while I was speaking with the bus conductor that the ladies seat adjacent to the one my wife was in, was being occupied by a man.

"What can I do?", he asked.

"But", I protested, "How can he call himself a Ms, only to get a seat."

"There is no rule against this", he said.

"But...", said my wife, her legendary anger rising behind her eyelids.

"Shhh", I said to her and then turned to the conductor, "Please, sir."

"Okay", he said after a short contemplating pause, "I will do something."

"Thank you, sir", I said as we exited the staff lounge.

Couple of minutes before the bus left, the lean one arrived with Crocin and the conductor showed my wife another seat, with a girl on the adjacent seat. This was good, I thought, as I alighted from the bus. I had a nagging feeling that I was forgetting something. And as I waved to the bus as it moved a bit, I remembered. I ran to the front of the bus and waved for the driver to stop. He did, but he opened the door with the nastiest face he could muster.

I rushed to my wife and said, "Happy early anniversary, baby."

She looked up and tears rolled down her eyes, "Happy wedding anniversary to you too, sweetie."

I got down from the bus in a hurry, afraid that the grumpy driver would start the bus and drop me a long walk away. But it was worth it. Having completed 5 years of marriage, and currently a forced bachelor as my wife does her MBA in Poona, I think any long walk would be worth wishing my wife face to face, even thought it was 4 hours before the anniversary midnight.

And then the rest of the evening was spent lazily lying and watching some repeat movie at the hotel. We were planning to leave that very night and reach Bangalore with a day to spare. The second gang wanted to leave too, but they were not yet at the hotel. After some time, the hunk and the intellectual came and informed us that they would leave a little later, somewhere at the middle of the night. That signaled the three of us to pack and bundle up, and we kicked off from Goa at around 10 p.m. We would make it to Bangalore pretty early.

On the way, we were repeatedly stopped by the cops at various checkposts, asking if we were carrying any liquor or 'fenny'.

"No, sir", said the lean one.

"I don't believe you", said the cop, "Open the boot."

The cop searched the whole car thoroughly, inside and out, even opened my bag to check if I had stuffed some 'fenny'. Once he was satisfied that there was no liquor on us, he looked around in a daze and was unable to understand how the strong hunch he had went wrong. He walked around to the back of the car, asking the lean one to follow behind him.

"Well", said the cop, "It seems that you have liquor."

"Seems like that, don't it", said the lean one sarcastically.

The cop nodded and said in a whisper, "Then how about some change for tea?"

"What?", said the lean one stepping back, "After all the inconvenience you put us through?"

"But...", the tried protesting.

"Nothing doing", said the lean one getting into the revving car.

The next half of the journey along the western coast was rather uneventful, except that we missed our turn towards Hubli, and ended up a good 80 kilometers ahead.

"Turn around?", I asked the wise one who was driving.

"And add to the trip distance?", said the wise on scoffing, "Check the GPS and tell me if there is another road."

"Yup", I replied peering into the phone, "Via Shimoga."

"Cool, then", said the wise one taking off.

But as the night progressed, and the road became narrower, both of us kept looking at each other. The streets were desolated and as the ghat section started, they became single lane. We did stop at a nice little shop for a hot pot of tea, and this was undoubtedly the best tea of the trip. But we had to brave horrible roads and pitch darkness and hearts beating in the throats with blind turns and unknown people walking around in the dark, for that little cup.

And it got worse. The higher we went on the narrow and dark mountain roads, the lonelier we felt and were getting wary of any people walking outside. And there were not too many of them either. It was as spooky as it could get. And they the GPS lost connection and so did the mobiles. We were in the middle of a mountain range, with no houses or people anywhere in sight, and no one knew where we were.

Somewhere at around 2 in the morning, as we were crossing another lonely stretch with a blind turn at the end, the wise one brought the car to a grinding halt. I looked out and realized that there was no road in front of us. My heart was thumping in my ears now.

"Where is the road?", I asked as if accusing the driver for missing it.

"I don't know", replied the wise one leaning towards the windscreen.

And as suddenly as it started, the breeze blew the clouds away, and revealed the intact road ahead. We both sighed with relief realizing that we were merely stuck inside a cloud. But the road ahead was peppered with more of the clouds and out average speed that was around a 100 km/h on the flat roads and had dropped to 70 km/h in the ghat section, further dropped due to the clouds and the resulting low visibility to a mere 30 km/h.

And we drove like this for the next 4 hours, with necks craned over the dashboard. The windshield was fogging inside for sometime and we had to start the air-conditioning despite of the cold, and then it started fogging outside and I was about to lean outside the window to wipe it, when the wise one stopped me with a 'what the hell are you doing' look and switched on the wiper.

"Yes", I said feeling like an idiot, "That is a better option."

"Don't you think?", said the wise one.

"Sometimes...". I said sheepishly.

And somewhere at about 5 in the morning, the wise one handed the steering wheel to me and went to sleep on the co-driver's seat. The lean one got up as I started the engine and looked out of the windshield.

"Man!", he exclaimed, "Where the hell are we?"

"On a mountain", I said craning my neck forward, "And driving through the worst fog I have ever seen."

"Oh, okay", said the lean one as if he heard such things everyday, and comfortably went back to sleep.

I drove carrying the two blissfully asleep buddies, carefully avoiding the pot holes and bad roads. But at places the road was so narrow, that the choice was which side will go on it. I mostly chose the passenger side trying to keep the sleep of the others unbroken.

At around 6 in the morning we reached Shimoga and the clouds were gone. The wise one was gone too, to the back seat and into the world of dreams. The lean one was back on the co-driver's seat and enjoying the view. We stopped for another cup of tea, which deteriorated again, from the top of the mountain cup of tea. We still needed the warmth after having driven through the cold fog, sitting inside an air-conditioned car.

And then I gave up, once I saw the clouds reappear as my nemesis after we crossed the Shimoga town. I stopped on the side of the road and handed over the car to the lean one.

"What happened?", he asked, "You tired?"

"Yeah", I said shrugging my shoulders, "I think it's time for you to deal with the clouds for some time."

I sat in the co-driver's seat for some time, but the clouds had made a miraculous disappearance, and I was weeping inside my sleepy eyes. I had never driven this slow, with this much tension on my shoulder, ever in my life. I looked around for clouds, and they were nowhere to be seen. Had they dispersed because the sun was coming up, or because I had stopped driving, will remain a mystery, at least to me.

I woke up with a start in the middle somewhere, to realize that I had doubled over and gone to sleep in the co-driver's seat. The wise one was up at the back and I exchanged places with him and lay down on the back seat. The rest of the trip, maybe the last 3 hours, was a beautiful dream with my wife and a lot of money. I must have been smiling in my sleep, but no one noticed.

We reluctantly handed the Rs. 100 note to the toll booth operator on the nice road. And at around 11 a.m., we turned into the wise one's parking lot. The trip was over, and it was not without adventure. For moments I had felt like Alladin and Sindbad, in others I felt like Robinson Crusoe or Tarzan. But the lasting memory was the three of us in the Ford Figo, that did its job beautifully.

As I drove my bike from the wise one's house to mine through the lakeside road, I could not help but be lost in the memories of the last three days, and looking forward to the next one. I overheard that the lean one is interested in visiting Shirdi, and the wise one wants to touch Leh. Sounds interesting.

I am in...

Movie Preview: Surrogates [2009]

The Surrogates is a graphic novel in five issues written by Robert Venditti, drawn by Brett Weldele and published by Top Shelf Productions between 2005 to 2006. In 2009 a prequel called The Surrogates: Flesh and Bone was published.

The premise of The Surrogates is the virtualization of the real world. Not merely the internet but by something way beyond.Imagine a world where instead of people, their avatar's moved about in the real world, interacting with each other, working at offices and doing all the physical chores for their owners. The owners instead sit in the air conditioned comfort of their homes, plugged on to the feed of information from their 'surrogates' in the real world. See what they see, feel what they feel, but stay away from all the risks involved. Broke a bone? Get a new surrogate. Look at the positive side. No more AIDS, no more physical injuries, no more fear of getting mugged in the lonely alley.

And come 25th of September 2009, you can watch Bruce Willis as FBI Agent Greer on the large screen taking on the world full of surrogates and a surrogate killer on the loose. With Bruce Willis is Radha Mitchell in the lead role. The film is directed by Jonathan Mostow. Set in 2017, a year that is now within the coming decade, the movie revolves around a future in which humans live in near isolation. Sometimes these kind of movies sound too absurd to be anywhere near reality, but sometimes the thought of how quickly the computer changed our world keeps the fear of something like this happening alive.

Surrogates is a thought provoking comic and movie on the lines of the iRobot by Issac Asimov. Can a robot armed with intelligence be held responsible for murder? Now the question is a little changed. Can killing a robot without intelligence be considered murder? Is killing a surrogate equivalent to murder? What is the implication of this kind of virtualization of the world? Are the surrogates merely doing what we intended them to do or are we overdoing it all over again? We found petroleum and today we know the myriad ways in which it can screw up the world around us. We found the computer and we now have diseases because of the overuse of technological products (think CTS). So, what will happen if one day we do manage to perfect the art of creating surrogates? I used to feel that Artificial Intelligence could be our enemy, but I keep forgetting that in this little blue planet of ours, the only enemy is our intelligence. Thought provoking indeed.

What if? Would I like to live life through an expendable surrogate? Look my best every day? Maybe even be a woman for a day and see how people would react to me? Instead of just a nick name on chat rooms, I can now be my alter ego. Maybe a body builder at the beach? Hmm... I can almost see my private garage of Surrogates. That one is for going to the movies. That one when I want to flex some muscles. Oh, and that one for those special nights. But think about it for some time more and you will feel a disturbing hollow creep inside you. God help us, for we truly do not have any idea of what we want.

Catchy...
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"We will all laugh at gilded butterflies", says Megan Fox

William ShakespeareOne of the most famous writers of all times, said it. And one of the hottest chicks of today, sports it. How's that for being a famous one liner? Could I swap places with these 50 characters?

But when William Shakespeare wrote it for King Lear, little would he have guessed the canvas it will be flaunted on. It adorns the, now obscenely famous, skin over the right shoulder of Megan Fox, the superstar from Transformers. Actually, I think she was the only reason the sequel was made (in my humble opinion) and absolutely the only reason to watch the sequel (which I have not, at least not yet).

So, Shakespeare wrote it as a dialog jesting a stint in the prison. The characters must have realized that all grapes are sour from within the stone walls, no matter how you look at it. So, they decided to laugh at the gilded butterflies because they know the truth.

Really? What about this world that we live in is true anymore? Isn't everything around us, merely a gilding over our vulnerable and naked skins? Want a Ferrari? How about a Tommy Hilfiger? Evian anyone? So, does that mean we ought to be laughing at each other from the moment we are born till we die? Actually, if you think about it, Shakespeare could have been laughing at the rest of us. Maybe he is rolling with laughter in his grave right now. May his soul rest in peace.

Megan fox and her tattooMaybe Megan sports it because she never wants to forget that the shimmer and glitter of Hollywood is only a gliding over the already beautiful inner self. Or maybe she has some issues with her self image and she got this tattooed on her skin so as to never lose her sense of grounding. Or simply because getting a tattoo is the 'in thing' and makes you doubly famous in Hollywood (remember Angelina Jolie and Lindsay Lohan?).

But all said and done, having a tattoo is cool and having it in plain English that anyone can read is pretty ballsy too. But then, that's Megan for you. Love it or leave it, just can't deny it.

By the way, here is the part from King Lear where the line appears. You can notice that the tattoo is not a word to word copy. Open to interpretation, like I said.

"We two alone will sing like birds i' the cage…
 so we'll live,
 And pray, and sing, and tell old tales, and laugh
 At gilded butterflies, and hear poor rogues
 Talk of court news; and we'll talk with them too,
 Who loses and who wins; who's in, who's out;
 And take upon 's the mystery of things,
 As if we were God's spies…
"
                                                    --King Lear, Act V, Scene 3

King Lear
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